Thursday, March 6th was a pretty normal day. I was 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I went to work for a 4 hour shift - I had cut my hours down for the last 2 weeks after a scare with possible pre-eclampsia and being on bed rest for a week and a half. The midwife allowed me to go back to work for the short shifts, making me promise I would take a 15 minute break in between and take it easy at home as well, after getting to know me well enough to know that if she didn't give me limits and boundaries, I wasn't going to make them for myself! That evening, my husband, Steve, and I settled into our normal nightly routine - crawl into bed, read a couple chapters of the Bible together, then read the daily page from our pregnancy book. We laid awake chatting for awhile, and I ended the conversation saying what I'd said every night for the last couple of weeks, "Maybe tonight will be the night. Maybe tonight the baby will come!" But then I went on to explain that it would actually be more convenient for the baby not to come for a few more days, due to the fact that my last day of work was the next day, and we had a ton of things planned for the next two days. "Maybe Saturday night, he can come then." As we were getting comfortable and starting to drift off into dreamland, I mentioned that I was having a hard time getting comfortable, as I was feeling a bit achy.
On the way to the hospital (only about 10 minutes away), I had 2 contractions. During them, I had to ask Steve to slow down (though he wasn't speeding!), as the potholes in the road were making them more uncomfortable. When we arrived there, it was still before 6am, when the main doors open, so we had to walk all the way around the building to the Emergency Room. When we got in there, they called someone to take us up to the Maternity ward. I told them that I knew where it was and I could find it myself, but they insisted that I sit in a wheelchair and get wheeled up there. After a few minutes of arguing with them, I finally just sat in the wheelchair. When we got up to L&D, they put us in a room, and a while later, the midwife on call came in to check me. She's the one midwife (out of 4) that I hadn't met yet, as she's only on call one weekend a month. When she checked me, I was only 1cm dilated, and 60% effaced, and at a -2 station. All that means is that I was just barely in labor according to their standards. She told me that it would be better for me to labor at home, which I was fine with. She also recommended that I try and get some rest. I told her that I wasn't sure how I was going to do that, as the contractions were so irregular, and they were uncomfortable enough to wake me up. She gave me some medicine, and told me I could take it and it would help me sleep. On our way out to the car, I remember having one really painful contraction - a taste of what was to come.
When we got home, I tried to lay down and debated on whether to take some of the sleep medication, Vistaril. It was explained to me that it would enable me to be tired enough to sleep through the contractions, since they weren't really bad yet, and if they aren't doing anything to help me progress in labor, it might even relax my body enough to stop them altogether. If that's the case, then this was just early labor that wasn't going to amount to anything. Or it could wear off and they will be worse when I wake up. So I decided to take the lowest dose (1 pill) and tried to sleep. It didn't work. After about 30 minutes I got up. I had been texting my doula, Avery, since the early AM, and she had made her way up to Augusta about then, so I asked her to come over, hoping she could help me with the laboring at home part. I tried taking a bath - the contractions continued and actually got closer together for awhile, but our bathtub is a stand alone claw foot tub and wasn't very comfortable, so I didn't want to stay in there long. When I got out I tried the birth ball, but it was very uncomfortable as well. When Avery arrived, we went for a walk outside, and the contractions were then coming about every 3-4 minutes apart while we were walking. I had to stop and lean with my arms wrapped around Steve when each one came and breathe through each one. After an hour, we came inside, and I laid down on the couch and Avery heated me up a rice pack for my back. I was definitely having back labor this whole time. It hurt in front too, but hurt 10x more in my back. While laying on the couch, the contractions slowed down, and I was able to fall asleep between them, sometimes as far as 25 minutes apart. At that point, Avery decided to head out to do some errands and she was going to check back in with me in a little while to see if I was progressing or slowing down.
At 1pm, I had an appointment with a midwife at the hospital which had been set up last week. On our way back to the hospital, I had to have Steve actually pull over a few times because it was so uncomfortable driving on the bumpy road during my contractions. We talked about things with the midwife, and she told me to go home and come back in when my contractions had regulated to 3-4 minutes apart for at least an hour. She also told me to try and rest. Towards the end of the appointment, I had a really bad contraction that put me in tears. At that point, she decided to send me to L&D for what they called "sleep therapy". They just put me in a room and left me for awhile until finally they had an OB come and check me around 4pm (I think the midwife on call was busy). When he told me I was still only at 1cm, I thought I was going to cry! I had been at this for about 18 hours this point and hadn't progressed really at all! The contractions were getting stronger though, and I was getting really tired, so they let me stay and try to rest between contractions (not!), and about an hour later the midwife on call, Angela, came and saw me. She suggested trying a shot of morphine as well as some sleep meds so that I could rest up for awhile. As with the sleep meds that were given to me before (that didn't work), if the labor was going to progress, it would be stronger when I awoke, but if it wasn't, it would go away when I awoke. First, though, she wanted me to eat some dinner, and maybe go in the hot tub for a little while to try and relax. So I ate a turkey sandwich and some chips, and got in the tub.
During the first hour I was in there, we noticed that my contractions actually started to regulate to about every 6-8 minutes, lasting about a minute long. So we decided to stay in the tub. My doula, Avery, arrived sometime around then. The tub felt good to sit in in between contractions, but during contractions, I couldn't stand to be sitting or lying down, so I would have to get up on my knees and lean over the tub onto Steve. They were getting a lot stronger at this point, and I just kept looking forward to getting out eventually so that I could get some pain relief and rest. But as the tub seemed to be working, and I just wanted this whole thing to be over with, I stayed in there for another 2 hours. When I finally got out of the tub, around 8pm, Angela checked me, and I had progressed to 2cm! It wasn't much, but it meant that I was getting closer! She said that they just had to monitor the baby for 20 minutes to make sure he was doing good before I was given the meds. Unfortunately, while they were monitoring the baby, his heart rate was way too fast, and wouldn't go down. They said it was probably because I was in the tub and had my belly submerged in the warm water for so long. So we waited and waited for his heart rate to go down - over an hour! During that time, the back labor was getting worse, and I was begging for any sort of pain relief, but they wouldn't give me anything until they knew the baby was OK.
Finally, when it was better around 10pm, they got the meds ready, but since my contractions were getting so much stronger, Angela decided to check me again, and I had progressed to a 4! She knew then that they were definitely not sending me home and we were definitely having a baby soon! So she said they were going to officially admit me. She then suggested that I get back in the tub, since that seemed to help the labor, or try the birth ball or different positions. It was about then that I broke down. I was so weak and tired and in so much pain, and I told her that she promised me pain relief and I needed something! I was crying and asked if I could get an epidural. They asked me again and again if I was sure. I had talked to my midwives during my pregnancy about getting as far as possible without pain interventions, so she tried to encourage me to go a little longer and try some different things. But I didn't feel like I could go any longer, so they finally sent for the anesthesiologist. They told me that she was on her way into a surgery soon, so I might have to wait, but I begged them to ask her if she would come help me first, and she agreed! I remember at one point when they needed to do blood work as part of admitting me, and they also needed to start an IV for the Group B antibiotics and for the fluids for the epidural. I couldn't sit down at all during the contractions, as it was so painful, so I told them that they would have to do it while I was standing up. So I was standing up leaning on Steve, and I had one nurse putting a needle in my left hand, and another nurse putting a needle in my right arm, and my legs were shaking so bad. The contractions were coming every 2-4 minutes at that point. I was able to get the epidural around 11:30pm. I was really nervous because they made me sit on the bed and hunch over and sit really really still to do it, and I thought for sure that I wouldn't be able to do it. The contractions hurt so bad, and I got one right as she was putting the needle in. I kept telling myself that if I moved, I would be paralyzed! Since Steve had gotten a little lightheaded while I was getting the IV before, he left the room during the epidural, and Avery took his place. She was great, always reminding me that if I got through this contraction, it would be over, and I would never have to experience that contraction again. Once it was in a good position, I could feel a very cold liquid going into my back. After about 5-10 minutes, I couldn't feel the contractions anymore! It was such an incredible relief!
They had to insert a catheter, which I wasn't excited about, but they said they would wait until I was numb to do that. But I still felt it when they did. I never even lost the complete feeling in my legs at any point that night. Angela told me to get some sleep, and hopefully when I woke up, I would be almost ready to push! I had the arm pressure cuff still on me, though, because of the epidural, and it was taking my blood pressure every 15 minutes, which was really annoying, as it would squeeze my arm really hard. I slept for about a half hour, and Angela came back in to check me at 12:30am. I was at 5cm, but she wanted to get things moving a little faster so she started me on a low dose of Pitocin. I slept for another hour, maybe less, when I started feeling the contractions again, but as really strong pressure instead of the pain in my abdomen and back. I asked Angela to help me get on my side so I could get more comfortable. At that point, my whole body started shaking uncontrollably from the contractions. Steve and Avery were resting, so Angela sat with me and helped me through about a half hour of contractions. Steve and Avery soon were by my side again. Angela checked me around 2am and I was at 6cm, 90% effaced. It was then that we realized that I wasn't going to get any more rest, and this was going to happen soon.
Angela told me that my water sac was bulging, so she could break it for me. This would either relieve some of the intense pressure I was feeling and help me relax, or speed things up. I was sure the later would happen, so I had Steve call our birth photographer, Carly, and tell her to get there as soon as possible. For the next hour, the contractions were about 2 minutes apart, and lasting a minute long. So I only had about a minute break in between, and even then, I had a really hard time relaxing during that minute because I had lingering pains from the contractions. I remember telling Steve at some point that if I ever tell him I want another kid, to remind me of this moment right now, and how much pain I was in. I told him he better remind him that it really was that bad. We called Carly, and found out that she was only about 10 minutes away. I then asked Angela to break my water. I didn't feel it - I think that I was in a whole other place mentally by then.
Carly arrived at 3am and by 3:45, I was fully dilated and effaced. Angela told me that I could start pushing, but I didn't want to. I was already in so much pain, shaking uncontrollably, and so weak and tired, that the last thing I thought I could do was exert any more energy. Plus I was terrified of how much more it would hurt when I started to push. But she told me that I had to, there was no other way out of this, and if I wanted it to be over, I had to push. So I did. She had me pull my legs back at the beginning of each contraction. Steve was on one side supporting one leg, and a nurse was on the other. Avery was next to me as well. Steve or Avery offered me ice chips in between each contraction. I couldn't believe how much it hurt. I kept trying to push the button to get more pain relief in the epidural, but it didn't help any. I asked the midwife why it wasn't helping, and she said that for some women, like me, you only get partial pain relief, and there's nothing else they can do about it. And then there was the blood pressure cuff which kept going off every 15 minutes, squeezing my arm very tightly (it was electronic, so more tightly than if a person was doing it). At one point, it started inflating in the middle of one of my contractions, while I was pushing, and I freaked out - "Get that stupid thing off of me!"
I tried to remind myself what I was doing this for during the pushing, but I think the pain really overtook me. It was over, he was here! I couldn't believe it, honestly. The nurses quickly started wiping him down as Steve and I just marveled over this tiny, writhing creature. I couldn't believe that he had been inside of me! Steve didn't want to cut the umbilical cord, so we let Avery do it. Angela said that Zane actually came out with his hand up across his face (the same way it was in his ultrasound pictures!), so there wasn't quite enough room, and it left me with 3 moderate tears, all kind of connected. She spent about 45 minutes stitching me up, but I was more focused on this incredible baby! Before she did that, though, she delivered the placenta (which she asked if Steve and I wanted to see - no thank you!). After holding him skin to skin for about 45 minutes, I let Steve hold him skin to skin for about 15 minutes. I then tried nursing him for awhile, before the nurses took him to do the other stuff. He scored a 8/9 on his Apgar. He weighed 7lbs, 10oz and was 19 inches long. He had a head full of light brown hair, and a birthmark right below his chest. I just kept thinking, "It's over. It's finally over!" It was a very long 31 hours, but obviously, well worth it. We had our little boy, our sweet blessing from God! Welcome to the world, Zane Andrew Simmons!
Going through the labor, and especially the delivery, was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And the most painful (coming from a girl who has 9 tattoos!) Looking back on it, here are my reflections:
~I'm so thankful I had Steve by my side the entire time. Just knowing he was there helped a lot.
~I'm so thankful I had such a wonderful midwife and nursing staff. They were all so encouraging and kind, and made sure that my thoughts, feelings, and opinions were heard.
~I'm so thankful for our doula, Avery. She was one more encouraging person by my side, reassuring me constantly.
~I'm so thankful for our birth photographer, Carly Murray (www.CarlyMurrayPhotography.com). Although I know I look like crap in those pictures, I'll cherish them forever, because they're documenting the most difficult, yet the one of the most wonderful things that's ever happened to me.
~I wish I had tried to get more sleep that first night when the contractions started. They might have stayed a good 10-20 minutes apart had I stayed in bed, so I might have been able to rest in between them. I was so excited and anxious for everything to be starting though, it was hard to stay in bed!
~I wish I had known that the epidural might not work completely. I never lost feeling completely from my waist down, as I could still move my legs around, and I could even walk right afterwards.. The catheter was annoying and uncomfortable. I still would have gotten the epidural, because it took away the back labor, which I'm so thankful for. But it just would have been nice to know that it might not take away all the pain. I'm really glad I didn't get any of the bad side effects.
~I wish I had called our birth photographer in earlier, so we could have gotten some more, maybe less intense, pictures. But I was convinced that I was going to be able to sleep for a couple of hours, so I didn't want to waste her time.
Here's the video slideshow that our birth photographer put together for us :)
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