I'm no expert, but here's my 2 cents:
1. You will drool like a mature camel.
2. Your nose will run, like all the time.
3. Round ligament pain - random shooting pains, causing you to yelp out loud and everyone to keep asking you if you're alright.
4. It may hurt to actually get up in the middle of the night to go pee. Which you'll have to do often.
5. In the last month, your pelvis will hurt all the time. And your hips. And everything else.
6. You may not be able to work up until your due date, and that's OK.
7. Your mucus plug may come out over several days or weeks, and it's gross - really gross.
8. You may cry, a lot, for stupid reasons, and you won't be able to stop. It might even be over something so trivial as your husband putting the dishes away in a different cabinet.
9. Water can and will give you heartburn. Everything can and will give you heartburn.
10. There may be days when you feel like you can eat and eat and eat, and you're never full.
11. Everyone says to "Sleep while you can", but sleeping is so uncomfortable! Just to switch from one side to the other takes such an incredible amount of effort.
12. You may lose your sex drive completely, and even if you don't, sex may be too uncomfortable or painful to even think about.
13. Everyone will want to touch your belly. Some will ask. Some won't.
14. Even early in pregnancy, bending over to pick something up will feel like you have a balloon inside of you.
15. Later in pregnancy, you may find yourself kicking things under couches or cabinets because you don't feel like picking it up (or can't).
16. You may not have any morning sickness (like me!) or you may have morning sickness all day long, every day, for your entire pregnancy. Everyone is different.
17. While most women might be getting sick the first trimester, other women (like myself) might be so exhausted that you may cry when you have to consider getting off the couch to go pee.
18. Invest in some comfortable slip on shoes. Anything with laces was not an option for me the last couple of months. I had some snow boots, and if it had snowed a lot, my husband had to put them on for me.
19. There's a good chance you will pee yourself sometime during pregnancy, if not multiple times.
20. You will have crazy dreams.
21. You may have night sweats so bad that you sleep in your underwear with no blankets and the window open in the middle of winter when it's -10 degrees outside, and your poor husband is freezing wearing a hoodie and under 4 comforters. And you're still hot.
22. Everyone will want to tell you their pregnancy/labor stories. If you're like me, you will love every one of them.
23. Towards the end, you may be sitting down, and go to lean forward and getting shooting pains through your pelvis. This is just baby's head pinching nerves. No biggie.
24. Braxton hicks might only make your abdomen hard and feel like pressure, and sometimes, they hurt. And first time moms get them too.
25. People will give you a million suggestions on what to start labor. You'll swear that you'll never do any of them. You will do most of them once you hit 38 weeks. It won't make a difference.
26. Just because you're a first time mom, doesn't mean you'll go past your due date. I had him 8 days early.
27. You might become very forgetful. You may even forget to pick up your little brother at cross-country practice. Or your eye appointment - twice.
28. When they tell you to try and get as much rest as possible during early labor, when the contractions are mild and further apart - please listen. You may be in labor for a couple of days, and you may not get another chance to rest before delivery. Or ever.
29. Pregnancy clothing is expensive. Try to find as much as you can at second hand stores.
30. Enjoy the second trimester.
31. Compression stockings suck to put on. But they work.
32. You may get heart palpitations - where your heart starts racing for no reason. Apparently it's "normal".
32. You will have a super sensitive sense of smell. Random smells will make you gag. Like perhaps bacon. For all 9 months.
33. Leg cramps. So bad that they might make you cry. Eat lots of bananas and they might go away!
34. Pray that you never have to do a 24-hour urine sample.
35. Your taste buds may change. During the first trimester, I had no desire to eat sweets, and chocolate tasted like cardboard.
36. Your hands and feet might swell. Take off your rings at the first indication of swelling, otherwise you might not be able to get them off!
37. Don't get sucked into the "kick counts". Some days I felt him move around all day, other days I felt nothing. But when hooked up to the monitor or ultrasound machine, I could hear/see him moving and still not feel him.
38. You can still do a lot of active things during your pregnancy. I still lifted heavy items at work through about my 36th week of pregnancy, and I was fine. My midwife said it was fine as long as I was used to doing it, and I was careful.
39. You might need 10 pillows to get comfortable at night.
40. You'll feel like you can't breathe, when all you did was get up and walk to the kitchen.
41. There will be weeks (especially in the late first and early second trimester) when you don't "feel" pregnant at all. Enjoy them.
42. You'll constantly compare yourself to other pregnant women. Don't.
What would you add to the list?
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